Monthly Archives: June 2017

How you talk to yourself says a lot about how you talk to others

Have you ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat?” This statement means if you put junk in your body, you will have a body full of junk. And your waistline will have more to show for it. If you eat healthy, you will have a healthy body and your belly won’t leave a shadow on your feet.

The same is true with what you tell yourself. This is what is called your self-talk. If youryou are what you think 1284 self-talk is negative, then you tend to be negative. If it’s positive and uplifting, then you will also be more positive and uplifting.

When training the college students at Southwestern Advantage, I explain how communications, at its most basic form, is two-way. It’s you and the person you are sending a message to.

SENDER   >   m e s s a g e   >  RECEIVER

I then tell them where misunderstanding and miscommunication comes into the process. It’s when NOISE is introduced. Noise is any interrupter that keeps the message from being received as it was intended by the sender. It can also be the personal messaging you tell yourself that sways your thought process – also known as garbage.

1000 Tips 114 talk to self othersHow you talk to yourself translates to how you talk to others. If you are hard on yourself, your expectations may be harder

And that’s why it’s so important you limit the noise between your ears. Mental, internal ear muffs are a fashion necessity if you want to block the negative things you tell yourself that you end up believing. You see, noise is a barrier to growth. It’s a roadblock to success. It’s like chains holding you back. Noise affects your attitude. It affects your perception of reality.

Let’s take it a step further. The noise (garbage) that interrupts the messages from yourself to yourself translates directly to how you communicate with others. The junk you tell yourself comes out in what you tell others. If you don’t filter your self-talk to be positive, then you come off as negative.

Just like you feed your body nourishment each day, you need to fill your mind with positive material. Your messages to yourself and to others are a reflection of you.

Trey Campbell,
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The 4 Choices of the Paths of Life

The path you take in life is entirely unique to you. You can’t live someone else’s life, nor they yours. Your personal choices will lead to where you find yourself. Your path in life can be a path of destruction or a path of prosperity. The good thing about the path of life is there are lots of twists, turns, switchbacks, criss-crosses, and places to pull over to think.

Occasionally, life will divide your path. Often, there will be an unexpected fork in the road. At this point, you are forced to make one of four choices.paths

  1. Go to the left
  2. Go to the right
  3. Go back the way you came
  4. Go nowhere

As you weigh your options, you’re stuck looking one way, and then the other, back-and-forth like an invisible tennis match. All kinds of questions run through your head: Which one will yield greater prosperity? Which one will be the “easy” route? Which one will be more fun? Which one would my friends choose?

When life offers you options, but you prefer familiarity and comfort, you still are left with a choice to make. One path may lead to the unknown… or both paths may. The beauty is we often can’t see where the path leads. We can only speculate. It’s a calculated risk, but a risk nonetheless.

Of the four options, #3 and #4 ARE known. You can back pedal to recognizable terrain or you can sit where you are, becoming a spectator of life rather than being a player in the game of life. It is highly unlikely these options are going to be of any use to you. To grow is to move up and out, not inward and underneath.

With #3 and #4 eliminated for the sake of positive advancement, our attention is drawn to #1 and #2.

1000 Tips 105 pave your own pathOne thing is for sure. Whatever path you do take, it is yours and no one else’s. God made us each in his image, but we are all unique individuals. He has also given us free will to make mistakes. We will make plenty of them… and sometimes that means taking the wrong path.

While I was writing this, I was interrupted by a call from a man in a different state. He was letting me know about some damage to his property unintentionally caused by a college student and wanted to know if I was able to help. He claimed she had drove into a custom lamp post in his yard and knocked it down. While he would like restitution for the damage, he was more concerned that, after having a very pleasant conversation and product demonstration with her, she left the scene. It was at the very scene of the accident where this young lady was at a crossroads. She had a choice of which path to take. The one where she got as far away as possible, or the one laced with integrity in the form of accepting responsibility. While I don’t have the reasons for her choice, it seems at this point she chose the path of least resistance – and bolted. The wrong path often only leads us in circles. You have to get off at some point and get going in the right direction again. 

We do this time and time again. Sin gets us on the wrong paths. Think about some of the errant paths you have been down and where they led you – nothing but trouble! Paths of fear, anger, jealousy, resentment, temptation, gluttony… too many to name!

When faced with where to go next in life, my recommendation would be to look for where God would have you go. It’s not always the most exciting and glamorous path… but it is the one that leads to your purpose in life. Don’t be afraid to take the path that leads to greatness in His Kingdom, not yours…

Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take.
– Proverbs 3:6

Trey Campbell,
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Stumbling into compassion

Have you ever had a moment where you tripped or fell and clumsily hit the ground? We all have at some point. In fact, don’t we kind of stumble through life?

When I was working at my first “real” job out of college – you know, the kind that you call a career rather than a job – I was taught a life lesson I have not forgotten to this day. In fact, it will stay with me until I depart this world of dirt.

The receptionist, whom I was friends with, was walking through the common entry way that had offices surrounding it with a stack of papers. All of the sudden, she went airborne and into a door frame. Papers were gliding to the ground in a smooth, left-to-right arced motion. And the sound was the crash-type of noise you only hear in a cartoon. The whole scene looked like a cartoon!

Rather than immediately help her like I should have, I broke into a laughter. She was okay, just a little frazzled and embarrassed. I figured since we were friends, she would have had the same reaction had it been me. That’s when I saw the look on her face. Then I knew something was not right.

1000 Tips 88 Psalm 66.9 feet stumble

Upon analyzing the situation and yes, going over and helping her get up and pick up the papers, her eyes caught mine as we were both on all fours on the floor and I could see a tear form, then trickle down her cheek. I asked if she was going to be alright. Then, she hit me with it. She said she had not told anyone at work because she didn’t want to be treated differently. What she told me was she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This is a disease of the central nervous system that interrupts the flow of information within the brain and from the brain to the body. Balance can be one thing affected by the debilitating disease.

After opening up about it, she felt a little better. But I didn’t. After some alone time soul searching in my office, I decided I needed to be more aware of my surroundings and both my actions and reactions. I wasn’t in high school (or college) any more and it was time I matured. I was mad at myself, but more upset for her. She was the one who would have to deal with MS for the rest of her life. I could overcome being a jerk. And, no doubt, there would be others just like me who don’t ever make it easy – whether intentional or unintentional. I learned from that encounter, but not everyone does.

Every time I read Psalm 66:9, I think of her. When I moved to another state, we did not keep in touch, but I do think back to how she taught me to be a better person through situational compassion. Each individual situation deserves understanding leading to compassion. I stumbled that day more than she did. She stumbled through her adversity. I stumbled into compassion.

We stumble through adversity, but when we put our trust in the Lord, our lives are His. When residing in His hands, we have Him to hold us up. And that’s all we need.

Trey Campbell,
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There’s light and hope in heartache

In the last month, more than a few people close to me have received either a not-so-good health diagnosis or experienced the loss of a loved one. It hurts me when others are hurting. I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach like a roller coaster dip thinking of their pain or grief.

Gods presence shines brightestBy nature, I’m a “fixer” and want to do something about it. I want healing. I want to mend the broken heart. I want to bandage souls and restore losses. I want to fill the void. I want to bring the pain to an end. But I can’t. Not much I say or do changes the reality presented by the present darkness.

Well, nothing I say or do, but there is a light! Just check out this well-known verse:

Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.
– Psalm 119:105

The living Word of God shows us the way and guides our feet on the right path – no matter the situation! You can always rely on Biblical truth to be the light that will set you free from whatever your bondage.

The light comes in the form of the realization that God’s Word is truth. God doesn’t promise us a life free of awful things, but he does promise us an eternity free of those things. Living in a world of sin has its consequences. This broken world certainly tries to break us. But in fact, it really it only bends us. Gods light

Recently, I text three Bible verses on how to restore a broken heart to someone I know who is dealing with the loss of a loved one. They were put together in the form you see below on a blog by Nena Podbury. To that end, the subtitle really hit the mark: “When your heart is broken, turn to God’s Word for healing.” Though the blog deals with mending a broken heart (relationships), the following points and verses are what she shared that relates to anyone going through a difficult period:

  1. God has the power to heal your heart.
    He heals the broken-hearted and bandages their wounds.Psalm 147:3 (GNTD)
  2. God is near.
    The LORD is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope.Psalm 34:18 (GNTD)
  3. God cares for you.
    Leave all your worries with him, because he cares for you.1 Peter 5:7 (GNTD)

And you know what? God always has impeccable timing. As I was driving home, there was a song on the radio I had never heard before (or never paid attention). I figured the title out by a line in the song. It was “What Faith Can Do,” by Kutless. This was also worth sharing with my friend and it’s worth sharing with you. As you read the lyrics, think about the hole in your heart or the reality of your struggles.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you are stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
Overcome the odds
You don’t have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can!
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That’s what faith can do
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise*

break into darkness

The lyrics in this song speak to my heart. The lyrics in this song speak to the broken-hearted.

Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

By Trey Campbell,
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*Written by Scott Davis, Scott Krippayne, William Scott Davis • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

Destiny, determination, desperation

Your destiny is determined by one part determination
and one part desperation

Destiny is a funny thing. Some believe the occurrences that lead up to a certain event are determined by an unseen power called destiny. An example of this is often used in sports: “_____________ is a team of destiny.” Or, “all the power in the universe can’t change destiny.”

I completely disagree. I feel destiny is determined by our efforts. And effort is determined by, what else? Determination. William Shakespeare said: “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” Our determination is a matter intense belief, a knowledge we are capable of the incapable.

1000 Tips 113 Desiny determination desperation

The other part of this equation is desperation. Anyone desperate enough and wants something bad enough is willing to chase the wind – and come darn close to catching it too!

Let me ask you three questions:

Question 1: Have you ever thought about what it takes to be successful? Chances are you probably have, but it may have been in a limited scope. What I mean by this is it may have been contained to a specific project or goal with an end in mind. But have you really ever applied this question with a bigger purpose? As in the purpose for your life?

Question 2: Have you ever been so determined, your efforts outweighed your expectations? When this happens, your results will exceed your expectations. This is surprisingly rewarding! Determination leads to all kinds of other positive qualities such as persistence and enthusiasm. Recent studies even suggest it can be a positive emotion that leads one toward action and results through such things as perseverance and the development of various coping mechanisms.

According to WikipediaDetermination is a positive emotional feeling that involves persevering towards a difficult goal in spite of obstacles. Determination occurs prior to goal attainment and serves to motivate behavior that will help achieve one’s goal.

Question 3: Does your desperation drive you? If you are not running with a purpose, the race is not important to you. Desperate people determine their destiny. They make choices based on demand rather than desire.

Destiny is a thing to be achieved, it’s not a string of happenings

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.

– Proverbs 16:3

What drives you? Your destiny awaits you. Make it happen.

Trey Campbell,
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*The photo above is part of a collection of truths, motivation, and wisdom from Lead Me Forward that can be found here. They are collectively called “1,000 Tips to Becoming a Better You.”