While I don’t usually get too shocked when a young person opens up about something personal, I’m still amazed every time they find themselves in confidence withdrawal. What I mean by this is how they are short on confidence, but long on the lies they tell themselves. Their confidence sinks to a whole new low – most often from their own low value of self.
One of the many ways we learn is through repetition. The things we tell ourselves over and over are the things we start to believe. In essence, we become as we think; we are as we tell ourselves. When we tell ourselves lies, our self-worth plummets into free fall like a raindrop in the wind.
One thing I always wonder in my head… when did you start telling yourself lies? Why do you look in the mirror and say you are unworthy? Say you are ugly? Say you are fat? Say you are not loved? Why would you have thoughts of hurting yourself? Why do you cut? What would drive you to the pain you feel? What kind of pain drove you to the numbness you feel?
Half the time, the answer is: someone told you _________________ before you told yourself – and you believed them. You bought the manure they were spreading and fertilized your insecurities.
The easy answer is to stop telling yourself these lies. However, we’re all aware how anything that has an obvious answer is never as simple as it seems. If you are in a rut of depression or swimming in a pool of self-loath, know this: you are not alone. Our insecurities are all too often secret commonalities. We all have them.
The key is to put your pride aside and seek help. Help can come in all forms. It might be counseling or therapy (nothing wrong with this option), seeking accountability from a friend, getting new friends, seeking solace in your faith, or participating in positive reinforcement exercises. Quit listening to others who tear you down and quit listening to yourself when you say the same hurtful things.
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.
– Luke 12:6-7
Yes, you are more important that any number of sparrows. God loves you and wants a relationship with you. You can deny Him, but you can’t deny His love for you. Acceptance begins a wonderful healing process. It doesn’t matter when you started telling yourself lies. It matters when you stop.